Yugen
by Scruff the Rat
Summary: "A profound awareness of the universe which brings out feelings that are too deep to explain." One wolf can relate. / A series of drabbles centered around a dorky panda with a heart of gold and a wolf finding his way back to the light.
1. Dark and Light

_Note: Boss Wolf's name originally comes from Animation Universe's stories. I claim no ownership over their idea. I just feel that no other name fits this big dumb puppy better. Oh, I also don't own Kung Fu Panda either._

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Darkness.

Ever since civilization's emergence into the light, the absence of that element has brought forth a plethora of negative feelings in people's hearts: chaos, danger, uncertainty, temptation—all the concepts that inspired fear and hate.

Darkness also meant security for it hid countless secrets from the probing nosiness of the Sun, the pale Moon and distant stars merciful in comparison; freedom for darkness did not require rigidity or a set system to operate; and comfort for the inability of eyes to judge through the shadow.

Perhaps that's why Zhong Yu, the former lead bodyguard of Gongmen City's exiled (and departed) prince, always loved the night with a passion that transcended his nature as a wolf.

How often had he, like his lost pack, used the cover of black to move undetected towards his goals, used it to take cover from the fire-lit wrath of his enemies? How many times had he, watching over his fellow wolves as they slept, simply breathed in as though he could take the shadows into his lungs and release them with relish comparable to the finest fumes?

Even now, after all the hell he'd gone through up to this point and the blank slate left for his future, Zhong, upper body exposed with his bare arms splayed out like a phoenix in flight, found solace in the sheer darkness of the bedroom.

The only exception was a beam of moonlight seeping through the window of this small room. Despite all reason, the wolf idly waved a hand through the sterling silver, reveling in how his fingers alternated between black and white without resistance.

 _Black and white._

That stray thought inspired a curt yet amused huff from Zhong as the large canine turned his head to the huge snoring panda next to him, sleeping on their side like a benevolent mountain giant. With his other hand, Zhong gently traced the bear's soft, round face, holding back a chuckle at how the larger mammal giggled in slumber at the ministrations.

Guided by subconscious alone, the panda instinctively wrapped his thick arms around Zhong's sinewy waist and drew him into his plushy front, the wolf sinking a bit into the monochrome chubbiness. Fortunately, Zhong had gotten used to Po's sleep-grabbing habits enough that he knew how to pry himself free without awakening his mate.

If he wanted to, that is.

Instead he returned the embrace and settled his angular snout along the panda's shoulder, the white fur around his mouth arching up from a rueful smile.

"I know you said I have only myself to thank for reaching out to you guys, but you seriously owe yourself some credit."

Po mumbled as if in response. Zhong patted his back with amusement.

"No really. You risked freaking tooth and limb for me even after all the hell I put you through. Even stood up to your friends and master whenever they told you how hopeless helping me would turn out." He licked Po's cheek tenderly. "You're too sweet sometimes, ya know that, panda?"

Again, the bear giggled and Zhong tightened his hold. _Dear gods, how did a guy like me end up with someone so cute?_ The canine reminded himself not to hold back the fierce blush beneath his dark-grey fur; old habits die hard but hey he's got time to unlearn.

His solitary red eye drifted back to the moonlight. Shifting them both so they'd be comfortable—namely he twisted around so that Po would be draped over him like a big pudgy blanket, dumpling head resting in the warm crook of his mate's neck—Zhong went back to running a hand back and forth between the shadow and light.

"You weren't wrong, though." The hand balled into a fist, hovering half and half between the two sides. Just like the majority of his screwed up life. Zhong frowned. "I needed to get my head on straight before I could stand up and find the way back. Some days I feel like I'm still a long ways off."

The arms around him squeezed and a resolute groan sounded out, making Zhong fear for a moment that Po would awaken. When that possibility did not become reality, the wolf raised the possessive hand he'd had on the bear's back to the black-rimmed eyes whose eyelids hid the most beautiful shade of green.

His fist relaxed and descended back to the floor, back to the shadows.

For once, Zhong didn't mind.

He chuckled softly. "Maybe that's not so bad."

"Told yooouuuuuuu."

Startled by the low singsong voice, Zhong quickly sat up, lifting Po's hefty body with him. Unfortunately for his pride, that act meant the wolf ended up looking down into the panda's smug grin, too. The bear wrapped his arms tighter around Zhong and delivered a swift peck to the canine's pointy nose.

Zhong snorted with a playful scoff. _Figures you'd pull a stunt as old as that, Po._ He returned the embrace, but made sure to jostle Po in the process. To his satisfaction, the panda yelped at the treatment.

 _That'll teach you to pull one up on an old soldier._ At the ursine's disapproving pout, he shrugged. "What? You don't like a little tough love, panda...a...Ah—AHAHAHAHA!"

Count on Po to consider tickling a form of revenge. Zhong attempted to cover his mouth to keep from waking everyone else in the Palace up yet to his surprise Po did that for him. Even then, though, the Dragon Warrior's other hand did not relent in its pursuit for laughter.

Courteous of him (somewhat) but that also left him vulnerable to two muscled arms.

Against the tickling, Zhong called on his warrior's will to flip Po onto his backside, pinning the bear's arms to the floor with his massive paws and thus ending the silly assault. In spite of the immaturity of this nonsense, Zhong couldn't help but wag his tail like an excited puppy.

"Like I said, _panda_ , you mess with the wolf," a cocky grin dominated his snout, "you get the fangs."

Po met that countenance with a smirk of his own. "And I like I said, _wolf_ , you mess with the panda, you get—"

"Don't tell me. The thunder."

The panda's smile only stretched even more. "Nope. This."

Suddenly Zhong found himself bouncing into the air, propelled by Po's grand belly. A brief panic filled him as Po never did this to him outside of combat practice, and though he knew Po would catch him, he half-expected to come short of the bear's arms and wind up sprawled painfully along the wooden floor. Po still had his clumsy moments, after all.

Worse yet, Zhong doubted the impact and his resulting groans of pain would go unnoticed by anyone happening to pass through. He didn't want to know what Shifu or any of the palace workers would do if they came across the bedroom-play-turned disaster.

Except when his red eye shot to Po's green ones, all the worry depleted from his mind.

Zhong only thought about how the white of his bear's body shone against the dark of the room like the brightest star. How those emerald irises instilled in him a peace he had gone without for so long, he'd completely forgotten wonderful it felt. How those thick arms reached upward, ready to catch him and keep him from harm.

Hands open. Open and ready. Ready for him.

Him and only him.

The apex of ascent felt like eternity to Zhong, but in truth he only spent a second up there before gravity dragged him back down.

No fear filled him.

Just trust.

Because Po had his back from the start—when they found him, when their friendship started, when few else believed in the wolf's chance for redemption—and he always will.

Zhong closed his eye, open and ready as well, right before Po caught him flawlessly and wrapped him in a hug full of too much love to measure, one the wolf knew he could never do justice.

No shame in trying, though.

Sharing the hug, Zhong buried his face against the black plush of his panda bear's neck and breathed in the sweet musk that could only be Po.

Zhong bit his lip. "Hey Po...I know I never say this but I—"

A pair of black lips on his shushed him. Po pulled back and rested their foreheads against each other with a smile the universe could never best. Zhong returned that smile.

Words weren't capable nor were they necessary.

Po knew. And so would he.


	2. Mix It Up

_I apologize in advance for the off-kilter quality of this chapter._

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The Dragon Warrior excelled at being open. As a result, he lived and breathed weirdness, a truth everyone who he knew him accepted as basic fact.

Take the previous week for example: a rat from a far off land brought with him tales of creatures and concept utterly bizarre to Chinese culture, let alone to the Valley of Peace. One such tale entailed the origin of soulmates. How a god, fearing the power mortals possessed, split each individual in half; how in turn each person spent their life in search of their 'other half', never knowing who would complete them.

Personally, Zhong found the concept downright gloomy.

Regardless, Po got swept up in the concept and even inspired by it, going so far as to launch into...an artistic spree one might say. A slight bizarre one at that. Let's just say Monkey, in search for Po's assistance for the latest in a string of pranks, did not expect to find the panda's room filled with multi-limbed figurines and drawings depicting beings akin to the chimerical beasts of old.

Apparently, Po's pet project consisted of seeing what the relationships between him and the others would look like as people. They all looked pretty good, too, even that bizarre-ass cross between Monkey and Mantis that left Shifu repressing a shudder at the thought of the Jade Palace's longest-standing pranksters merged into one personality.

Zhong especially liked the one figure of Tigress-Viper that looked like some sort of tiger dragon. Sleek yet strong.

Yet when he spotted the drawing of a chubby monochrome figure clothed in gold and black, armor and patchwork fabric, sporting a dopey smile full of razor-sharp canines and four brown eyes (only three worked—one retained the scar), his blood plummeted too many degrees to describe.

Time, space, _everything_ around Zhong seemed to freeze as his eyes met the trio staring back.

When Po touched his shoulder, the wolf ran out before the panda could ask.

Now here he sat under the Heavenly Peach Tree of Wisdom, the serene pink of the leaves a direct contrast to the dark storminess of their visitor's thoughts.

Zhong closed his eye and rubbed a large paw down his face, groaning in frustration at his behavior. _I've seen hellish injuries, people_ die _and this is what gets to me._

Some insipid art project? Pathetic. Truly and utterly pathetic.

Shame followed once Zhong realized what and who his mind had been deriding. Po put all his damn heart into these sketches and models all so he could channel the feelings he had for everyone in his life.

 _Including his feels towards us. And I bail out on all that just cuz I'm too much of a wimp to feel comfortable around a sketch. Smooth. Real smooth._

Nervous footsteps reached his ears long before the source came closer. Then they stopped. Po knew his mate's strong hearing all too well at this point. Zhong perked his ears again when the panda mumbled something.

He turned his head. "What?"

"I said I can trash it if ya want."

"NO!"

Zhong regretted shouting instantly. Po, to his credit, doesn't flinch beyond a slight widen of the eyes. "I mean...," his stance softened, "no. It's good, really good. Besides, you spent all that time on it. It deserves some respect, ya know?"

Po rubbed his nape, bashful. "That's totally cool and all, but I don't wanna keep something that makes ya uncomfortable."

Was that what Po thought the problem here to be? Zhong shook his head at his mate's naiveté.

"It's not the drawing, Po. It's just...the idea of you and me..." Pulling a face, Zhong interlaced his fingers together. He backtracked at the bear's hurt look. "Not you and me being together! Just you and me being together in _that_ way."

Okay, now Po only looked confused. The former guard pulled a hand down his face in frustration. "Look, all I'm saying is that you're good and sweet while I'm... _me_. How would I know sharing a form"—and perhaps just being with him—"wouldn't mess you up?"

Things stayed quiet. Po blinked. "Is this another one of your 'I don't deserve good things' moments?"

Zhong's eye widened at Po's astute observation. Dammit, had he become that predictable in his moods?

"Dude, not to put down your feelings about this, but if we could do stuff like that then I think we'd be totally awesome!" Po started to pose fighting stances. "Twice the kung-fu awesomeness, twice the good looks,—"

"Twice the goofball," the canine found himself adding.

"So the tough guy admits he's got a silly side, eh?"

Zhong rolled his eye but could not keep himself from smiling. He draped an arm around his panda's broad shoulders and drew him in for a kiss, one Po happily reciprocated with a happy moan. When they pulled back, the panda traced his green eyes across the wolf's toothy smile.

"You look really super nice when ya smile, Zhong."

Zhong chuckled back. "I could say the same for you. I guess I still have trouble trusting myself with you sometimes."

Po took the opportunity to draw _him_ in for a kiss this time then wrapped his pudgy arms around Zhong, snuggling their cheeks together. In return, the wolf put his free hand on his panda's ginormous tummy and rubbed it in slow fond circles.

"I trust you."

"I know you do." His super-cuddly panda was too good to him.

The two lovers remained in each other's embrace as the world drifted on by. They were at peace.

"Hey babe," Po eventually chirped in a dreamy tone.

Zhong grunted back, mind still deep in calm.

"Whatcha think of the name—"

"We're not calling him 'Pong'."

His panda pouted. "Like 'Zho' is totally cooler?"

Zhong smirked in return. "...It kinda is."

And so began an argument that would be remembered for years to come.


End file.
